no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
