your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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