Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
