I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
