he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
