Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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