ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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