I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
