im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Randomize
