Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
