so explain again why im purple
no
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
