she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
