the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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