apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
