piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
