Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize