I'm drive I can fine osifer
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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