Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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