you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
