I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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