My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
