Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
