oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
