He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize