I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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