So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
