and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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