VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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