Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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