I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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