you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
