I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
