need another drink. this is the easiest way
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
