she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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