Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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