Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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