You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
