"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
