i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's blow job season.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize