so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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