He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
