two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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