My sheets look like a crime scene.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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