She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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