i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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