You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
