It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
