walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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