i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
you are never too drunk for berry picking
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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