I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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