we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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