After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
