I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
