it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
