8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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