Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize