All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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