what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
