guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
