do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
