I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
