so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Green mimosas i think yes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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