I forgot how hot balto sounded
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
